right now, I don't know if it's fencing or netball.

and so exams are over!
I got back e and a math, ss, geog and physics.
haha I passed all!
but one thing I'm quite disappointed is physics.
people who know my mark may be like, "but you're mark is quite good what!"
I may sound like an ass but though I have a good mark for physics, it's not enough. I have my reasons. I have my dream. I have to work hard and I won't just settle for 2nd or 3rd.
so I kinda emoed the whole day.
almsot missed my bus stop -.-
but from now on I WILL work hard for my dream.
the girl who got highest in class, watch out. I'm going to work my butt to the top and I ain't stopping.

-

Ready, set, go! It's time to run
The sky is changing we are one
Together we can make it while the world is crashing down
Don't you turn around

my fears revisited.
i dreamt about them.
the fear i have in my heart is ...

oh shit.

i have interesting statistics.
on 17th alone,
4 people wished me happy birthday [excluding family members]
through sms and facebook.
well, there were others who wished me happy birthday when they heard it was my birthday.
wow.
amazing ain't it.
and i spent my birthday having a big dinner in a market.
when my frieend heard, he said, "wah, so cui one."
what's wrong with having my celebration with my family?
what's wrong to eat at a place where my grandmother likes?
what's wrong taking it easy since finances seem to be a problem?
i don't need it to be grand.
all i want is to spend time with my family.
my time is almost up.

psychologically damaged
i read a horror manga.
"...psychologically damaging..."
after i managed to finally overcome my fear of darkness
curiousity killed the chris.
oh crap.
and for lit.
we're going to be watching horror shows and we have to study the atmosphere and stuff.
as if i already didnt know!

now we're tumbling down
i didn't get triple science.
i didn't get into the team.
go ahead.
surprise me some more.
so maybe God is telling me i'm not so smart ouch
neither am i that good in netball thanks God
but maybe He wanted me to focus on other things.
like, studying?
we're spiralling
yep, my life is going down.
down down down.
there's only probably one last help line left right.
and if i don't take it...
well, i may not be smart.
i may not be good.
i may not be strong.
but i have a God that is TOO AWESOME backing me up.
hey, no loses right?

-

even though it's this way, why is there pain inside?
but maybe, just maybe, crying helps.